A Day with a Stranger in Bali

9 am.

“This is way too early for a holiday” I thought to myself.

I lumbered into the hotel lobby and grabbed a quick coffee to ensure I had some oil in the engine. A 10-hour drive with a complete stranger could be potentially painful and detrimental to my sanity.

A huge cream white Toyota SUV pulled into the driveway of the hotel lobby, slightly excessive for a single person but I’m not complaining. I was greeted with a warm smile and a quick handshake by a middle-aged man. As we walked to the car, I contemplated sitting in front to be polite but I relegated myself to the back just in case I wanted to settle some of my own business (read: play my mobile games).

The most interesting part about the trip was perhaps the conversations that happened in between places. The tourist attractions themselves, not so much, though I did gain a deeper understanding of how it related to the locals and their livelihoods. “Do-or-die conversations”, as I call them, is a phenomenon that occurs when you take a trip 1-on-1 with a stranger. We have had some practice with Grab rides, but these last all of 30 minutes on the tiny island of Singapore. Even on those rides, we have a choice on whether to hold a conversation (I could, for example, be struck with a spontaneous dose of sleeping gas and thus unresponsive for the duration of the trip). 10 hours of silence might prove to be a challenge and I questioned my own ability to hold a conversation with someone I’ve just met for that long. However, I was completely mistaken as I left the car at the end feeling like I understood Bali’s culture better through the lens of my guide Swandi.

Given my poor memory, I will attempt to play the day’s conversation back in my head in MP4 format. In piecemeal, I will write about the most interesting snippets lodged in my memory. Several recurring themes structure my thoughts on their way of life: balance, community and tradition. We had conversations on topics that ranged from “this is very safe’ to “this is potentially offensive”. This piece, however, will be presented through my lens for you to infer about their lives on your own. If you ever visit Bali and need someone to drive you around the island, I’m more than happy to refer you (for the skeptics, I do not benefit in any way from this…) Topics are NOT in chronological order.

On his personal life

I had always assumed that the person I was liaising with over the internet would be different from the person actually giving me the tour. It seemed the most logical and efficient way to do things in the age of tech. It was presumptuous of me to assume.

After our very first stop at the rice fields, he politely asked for a few moments to take a call. He seemed to be organizing something so I asked him “would you happen to be the founder of this company?” And indeed, he was. I was inspired by his on-the-ground attitude and how he used the internet to deliver great service and cheap rates. I had scoured several sites and found his to be the most customizable and the most reasonable. Solo trips aren’t cheap and most ‘packages’ had a 2 person minimum.

Naturally, I asked abit more about the business, which had been running for 8 years. He mentioned that competition was a lot tougher these days. I could understand why. As I did my research, you get many slick sites charging you an even higher amount than what I was paying for to a single location. Of course, they tend to look slightly more legitimate whereas I had to contact him using a dodgy online form. Still, a flat fee for a 10-hour car with a driver was too good to pass up.

I asked abit more about why he was conducting the tour himself if he had staff under him. He mentioned he actually enjoys giving the tours (evidently, from how all the locals knew him wherever we visited). I asked abit more about his commitments at home and he mentioned he was married and looking forward to have kids. Still, running a company and work life balance can’t be easy. As if that wasn’t impressive enough, further down the trip I also realized he ran his own shipping company. The work ethic of this person puts me to shame. I enquired abit more about his holidays and how he structures his time. He mentions that he takes break during ceremonies as they have many in Bali (unlike us, who have public holidays). Even then, if a trip was booked beforehand, he would try ways to make sure he commits to both the trip and the ceremony. Occasionally, if he has down time, he checks in with the workers at the shipping company. I’ve seen my fair share of workaholics, but being a workaholic doesn’t really impress me. What impresses me about Swandi is the fact that he is committed to both his tradition and culture as well as his work.

On Singapore, Politics and Transport

At some point early in the trip, he asked where I was from. Naturally, I replied Singapore. His immediate reaction left my slightly embarrassed as he said “Ah, yes Singaporeans are the rich ones”. My immediacy in denying it left me feeling slightly guilty – my privilege was evident from the mere fact that I could come alone and rent a car all by myself. The fact that he said it so matter-of-factly made me think even deeper on how easily discontented we allow ourselves to be sometimes.

The conversation eventually veered into some common questions about Singapore, such as politics. He asked about our president and I explained to him about how our system is much more focused on the Prime Minister. He seemed genuinely surprised and curious as to how that worked. The way he praised our government made me wonder about his views on his own government, but I decided not to probe – these conversations can get quite touchy. We talked abit about how the size of the country affected ease of governance. Never once did he criticize his own government in the entire conversation. I felt he truly held our government in high esteem, but he acknowledged that it was a different ball game when it came to governing a big country like Indonesia.

Towards the end of the trip, we spoke abit about transportation. His cousin had recently come to Singapore and praised how efficient the public transport system was. (Instant flashback to the parts where we complained about 5 min delays and breakdowns) Out of curiosity, I asked about cars in Bali. He mentioned that most people just ride a scooter (which makes sense). I further questioned him on emergencies as a scooter cannot possibly meet every need. Interestingly, he said: “If there is ever an emergency and a car is needed, the community will help. His neighbor will help the person if he or she has a car”. He said it with such confidence that I was slightly bewildered at the response but their sense of community is evidently much stronger than ours. At the back of my mind I wondered if, in our economic spur, we had consciously suppressed some parts of our own humanity to chase material comfort.

On Community

The theme of community recurred multiple times throughout the trip. I recall distinctly that he beamed the most brightly when I mentioned that I enjoyed Bali because the people here as a whole were always polite and respectful. I didn’t compliment him, but I felt that he appreciated my comment on the community more so than if I were to praise him directly. The idea of community came up most strongly when we visited the elephant cave (Goa Gajah). The cave, in all its authenticity, was a sight to behold. But the cave took up all of 10% of the real estate despite being the main attraction. Half of the location was dedicated to structures to facilitate offerings and ceremonies. He brought me to the back of the temple where there was a traditional kitchen (woodfire stove) and mentioned that offerings had to be prepared with a woodfire stove because there was a fire deity involved as well. I asked how often they had ceremonies for the place and he mentioned that it was semi-annual. Apparently, everyone in the village is actively involved and attends. Most interestingly, they had a traditional bell they would ring to ‘summon’ the villagers and let them know the ceremony was starting. I half-jokingly asked: “You mean they still do that?”. In all seriousness, he answered: “Yes”.

On Tradition, Religion and Balance

Evidently, traditional and religion are intertwined in a deeply layered culture like Bali. He mentioned that tourism is about 40% of the economy so most people are involved in tourism some way or the other. As we drove by a range of houses, he mentioned that there were three families still living as conventionally as possible (with woodfire stoves for cooking). They apparently gather wood on their own, only purchasing raw food materials from the market. Most of the houses we passed by looked like they were constructed by the owners themselves. Intriguingly, almost every one of the houses had a temple attached to it and oftentimes, the temples looked much more elaborate than the houses themselves. Swandi mentioned that all houses will have at least one temple. As we spoke more about religion, I asked him a question that had been at the back of my mind since I came: “why are there offerings at the door wherever I go?” (Literally, there would be bowls of offerings at every stall’s front door). He mentioned those were offerings to demonstrate respect to the evil deities. They were not offerings of worship, but the acknowledgement of the presence of evil and a form of respect so these evil beings would leave them alone. The idea of balance recurs often: in Hinduism, their main religion, we see Brahma (creator), Vishnu (preserver), Shiva (destroyer). Each God is a necessity to keep the universe functioning. We see the same theme of balance in the Bali masks: Barong and Rangda. Barong (the good) is always accompanied by Rangda (the evil) – none of them exist on their own in isolation.

This topic was discussed as we headed back to the hotel; I wished I could ask him more. But we were both evidently exhausted from the 10-hour trip and I felt like it was a great place to conclude the journey. The day started with the usual ‘safe’ topics but by the end of everything I felt like we had become friends (or at least, acquaintances with an understanding of each other’s perspective on certain topics that even our friends may not know about)!

Synthesis

Even after the trip, some of the things he mentioned are still constantly playing in my mind. With a better understanding of their culture and how they perceive life, I started to be able to make sense of how they would perceive some of our actions as visitors who may come from a very different way of life. But these thoughts are still swimming around in my head and I wouldn’t want to posit anything I haven’t thought through. Happy to share more if anyone’s interested.

Here’s a free picture of a luwak.